The Ups and Downs of Shopping

I'm starting a new full time job soon so I thought my wardrobe could use a little sprucing up. You only make first impressions once, right?

Throughout the process of my weight loss I have only bought new clothes here and there, enough to last me until I could fit in the next size down. This summer, for instance, I bought two pairs of shorts and three capris, enough to wear in the evenings or on weekends in constant rotation. I have a lot of clothes, mind you, but most of them are too big anymore. It's a nice problem to have but sometimes it's also overwhelming. So last weekend I went on a closet cleaning binge and took a bunch of items to Goodwill. That left me feeling better about taking my 30% off coupon to Kohl's. :)

Kohl's and I are old friends. I was never a big shopper until I started going on my own. I loved the idea of being in a store as long (or as little) as I liked. When I lived in New Hampshire during my year with Americorps, I started going to Kohl's on the regular.

If you've read some of my other blog posts or follow me on Facebook, you're probably aware that I've been overweight for most of my life. I was used to shopping in the Women's section, where it was sometimes a struggle to find something I actually wanted to wear that wouldn't also work for a woman 20 years older than me. Stores like Lane Bryant and Torrid came along later but you can't beat Kohl's for the discounts and the Kohl's cash so that was still my primary store.

This year, though, I hadn't been to Kohl's too much because of my desire to not overbuy while I'm still losing weight. I did want a new dress for a wedding this Spring so I made the trip. Imagine my surprise when I realized the items in the Women's section were now too big for me! I looked at the smallest size they had and just knew it was too big. What?! Plus, there was nothing I even remotely wanted to buy in terms of a dress, so I went to the Misses section. And bought a J Lo dress. Really? Me? In a "regular" size? I was thrilled.

 My J Lo dress.

Before my most recent shopping trip, I'd only been to Kohl's one other time this summer, with a specific purchase in mind, so I didn't really look around the Misses section too much. I was floored when I went last week and realized what a huge section of the store the Misses department occupies. It had to be 1/3 of the first floor! The sales racks went and went and went. This is what I'd been missing! I finally felt like I was picking out clothes that went with my age bracket. Plus, when you buy clothes that actually fit you, people notice even more the changes you've made. (Don't hide in big, ugly clothes. A nice outfit can honestly make you feel so much better about yourself. Try it!)

I do empathize with anyone that is now where I once was, shopping in the big girls department and picking out the least objectionable choices. Especially after I have seen the options provided to the smaller women. It is great that plus size women have more options these days like Torrid and Lane Bryant or Old Navy (check out their plus size clothes online) but I still feel like most clothing stores (or their buyers) do not really understand what an average plus size woman wants. (I can't even tell you how many times I've seen shirts with horizontal lines on them and thought "In what world does someone think I want to buy a shirt to make myself look even bigger than I am?")

If you are a bigger woman, don't let the often confounding choices at a store make you feel bad about yourself or your body. Comb those racks for staple items like solid color pants and shirts to form the basis for your wardrobe and then splurge on bigger ticket items like dresses and jackets at more figure friendly stores where the cuts are more flattering and the quality is higher.  Let your clothes be an ally and not an enemy.

For me, it's still going to take some getting used to that my body is probably 1/3 what it once was.   Sometimes when I'm doing laundry I look a t-shirt and think it looks too small, that can't fit me, but I know that it does. At Kohl's I was half expecting weird looks as to why I was shopping in the Misses section.  But in the end I'm glad my weight loss process has taken as long as it has because it has allowed me tme to process these changes.

If you feel like you need to make a change, you have to want it for yourself. Don't get angry that everything at the store makes you feel like a house and try to lose weight for that reason or because someone said something nasty to you. You have to really and truly want it for yourself or you won't commit to a change. Have a reason that is personal to you and continue to revisit that reason to keep your motivation up. 

My husband says I have much more willpower than he does but I don't think that's necessarily true. I struggle on a daily basis and sometimes I eat what I probably shouldn't or I skip a workout but I've also made changes to my lifestyle and formed habits and that is what wins out in the end. I know if I go too long between workouts I get antsy and I don't sleep as well. I also know the residual effects of eating too much bad food. Plus, my desire to eat certain foods has diminished. So much of it is mental but being healthy is just like any other good habit (brushing your teeth, putting on your seat belt, etc.), it becomes automatic. You just have to keep at it long enough to get to that place.

If I can do it, anyone can. Like I said, you just have to want it. When you're ready, I'm here.

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